Fun Day

Yesterday, I went to Charleston to hang out with one of my friends for the day. The weather was gorgeous in the afternoon and it was nice enough for us to eat lunch and have a couple of drinks on the porch of this really cute restaurant on the water. We saw the USS Yorktown from across the Cooper River and decided to go over there and take a tour to see it up close. I wish I cared more about history because it seemed pretty cool, but I'm sure that most of it went unappreciated by me as we walked through it. We toured a submarine, a battleship, and the air craft carrier.

This was pretty cool because it reminded me of the classroom in Top Gun. I can't believe all those dudes are horribly middle-aged now. Have you all seen Val Kilmer recently? Sick!

All that's missing from this picture is Tom Cruise in his tighty whiteys and dogtags.

I almost feel like I hit the lotto!

I guess poop has been a consistent theme for me this week...

Callie has had such a big week because she pooped on the potty 3 times since Friday and I am so grateful! It's a start in the right direction, and if I can at least get one of them trained, that's half the butts I have to wipe and that is awesome!

I feel bad, because the following details will probably be horribly embarrassing to her later on in life and might not be appreciated until she is a momma herself, but it's so cute that I want to be able to remember it later! (I'm fully aware she's going to want to kill me when she knows I spewed her potty training particulars to the internet!) But seeing poop go to it's proper home gets me giddy!

On Friday, she wanted to sit on the potty and because I had to clean the bathroom anyway, I let her color while she was sitting. After about 20 minutes, she had her first true pooping victory! We cheered (though not too much since I scared her last time because I went too psycho on her) and you could tell she was really proud of herself.

Later that night, my mom came over to babysit while Brent and I went to dinner and Wyatt peed on the potty for her too! I'm hoping that they are encouraging each other to potty train faster since it's really hard for one of the twins to get rewarded with M&Ms and the less victorious one of them only gets to watch and salivate.

Then, Callie had another victory on Monday and after she was done, she stood up and declared that her poop looked like a bear! I died laughing! She was really proud of herself again and insisted that we call daddy to tell him, and my parents too.

Yesterday, after her nap, she told me that the bear was coming so we sat her down and she was victorious again! Hahaha! She was saying, "Hereditcome bear!" ('Here it comes, bear') and the bear did infact come.

Granted they both want to sit on the potty about a million times a day and we are burning through diapers like no tomorrow because of it, BUT this is awesome. It's exhausting trying to be so patient with them because most times, nothing happens. They want to sit there forever too.

It's pathetic the things we get excited about at this crusty old age!

Poocasso

This morning when I woke up and headed upstairs, I was slapped across the face by the smell of rancid inky. I immediately tensed up and started to pray that I wasn't going to find Wyatt bathing in his own feces and drawing masterpieces of art with his dung.

I should have prayed harder.

First, I went to get Callie and she started asking for Wyatt who was definitely being much too quiet for that time in the morning. So I grabbed her hand and we walked into Wyatt's room together.

The green fog was thick as hell and I braced myself as I peered into Wyatt's crib. At about the same time, Callie started saying, "SMELL! SMELL! EWWWW!". Dude had one hand down his pants (digging for the goods) and was using his other hand to graffiti all over his pillow with caca.

Tears came to my eyes. Both from the gut-wrenching stink and the feeling of pure defeat. I was going to have to clean this up. I was also trying not to yack since I have such a weak stomach from puking everyday for 29 weeks when I was pregnant with them. AND I definitely don't do poop. I wanted to die.

I threw that little punk in the tub with almost an entire bottle of baby soap. I let him fester in that for a good half hour before I was willing to attack him with a washcloth. So gross. I finally got him cleaned up and then had to go disinfect the hell out of his room. Narsty.

Please believe that I had just written something incredibly sentimental about the kid last night before I went to bed but waited to post it after I had time to check my spelling. I love how they find a quick way to balance out the good with the bad before one side gets too heavy. It happens every time!

I will post the sentimental ode when my nose hairs grow back.

If you're REALLY bored...

I'm tired. This has been a weird week. Wyatt had a touch of something on Tuesday and Callie and I had it yesterday. The three of us already had our flu shots (thank goodness) and I think that we might have been exposed to it. Instead of getting the full blown flu, we just had extreme tiredness and were kind of achy. Wyatt even asked to take a nap a little bit after breakfast, so you KNOW that kid wasn't feeling himself!

Callie wasn't interested in ballet at all yesterday. Brent took her since I wasn't feeling well and he said that she threw a fit as soon as they walked in the joint. Callie immediately started crying and screaming, "HOME! HOME! HOME!" Her feet never touched the floor. Granted she wasn't feeling well, but I'm nervous this might be the start of not wanting to go to ballet class. We'll see...

Anyway, I saw this yesterday and thought it was kind of cute...

25 Things About Me - Callie

1. I'm a fashionista and ask to see a mirror after I put on a new outfit or have my hair done.

2. I love to read. It's one of my favorite things to do.

3. I eat like a bird and I'm very picky.

4. My favorite color is pink.

5. I would color all day long if someone would let me.

6. I love to dance. If there is music playing, you can bet I'm trying to hum along and dance.

7. I requested an airplane ride for my 2nd birthday.

8. I drink more liquids than a camel. I would rather drink my hunger away than bother with eating.

9. My favorite food is cheese.

10. When I'm happy, I do a miniature gallop and walk on my tippy toes.

11. Every morning when I wake up, I have to talk to daddy about my little baby dress that's on the wall. ("Cahggie, dress, girl, wof (flower), cucke (cute).")

12. I smile with an under bite sometimes when I'm being rotten.

13. I will steel Wyatt's juice and snacks every chance I get.

14. I love the moon and the stars and look for them almost every time we get in the car or go outside.

15. I provoke Wyatt to get mad and chase me by either steeling his binky, or a toy he's playing with.

16. I make sure that mommy and daddy know to in include Wyatt in everything.

17. I am super cautious about all new things and also get scared pretty easily.

18. I am the more dominant twin but I always worry about Wyatt when I'm not around him.

19. I say "Hodee, hodee, hodee..." when i want someone to hold me.

20. I love watching momma play with "Eye" (makeup) and always want her to put "keem" on my boo boos.

21. I sleep with 4 things: My bunny foofoo, Elmo, Roar (a white tiger beanie baby) and a light blue binky.

22. I don't use a binky, I just like to chew on it like a busted ol' cigar.

23. I ask about my Oma almost everyday and also know the way to her house.

24. I loathe having my fingernails and toenails cut!

25. I classify everything as being either cute or yucky.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Yesterday was so cute! I had the three best valentines ever (four if you count Tonizzle)! The two short ones got little baskets from their momma and daddy that were full of big kid underwear! They are definitely not ready to wear them yet, but I'm trying to motivate them a little bit. They got some other stuff too like playdoh and coloring books and stuff and Callie was totally appreciative of the "PINK LIGHTS, PRETTY! CUTE!". We also had heart shaped eggs and waffles for breakfast.

She was only interested in wearing Wyatt's Lightening McQueen socks and underwear!

They also got a box of legos from my parents and spent most of the morning shoving legos in their mouths and regurgitating them into my lap. We tied their balloons to their sippy cups which also provided hours of monkey-balloon tackling fun. The balloons were, by far, the favorites of the day. Shockingly enough, neither one of them popped despite being loved on, jumped on, and bitten.

Brent got me a bunch of really pretty tulips and made crab legs and shrimp for dinner. We had a really nice day and I hope that everyone else enjoyed their Valentine's day as much as we did!

Here's a quick little video I took yesterday. They do this all the time... Callie will yell, "Wy Wy! Rosey!" and then they both run together and hold hands and do this little jig. I was lucky enough to have my camera handy this time. The funny part is that I never taught them this!!!! (I'm assuming the culprit is either grandma or Sesame Street.)

Aww... his first grounding!

I grounded Wyatt this afternoon. It had to be done so that I wouldn't beat him down. It was only a 20 minute grounding but I banned that kid to his crib!

The kids have tricycles. They can't pedal yet so these trikes are more like mobile jungle-gyms than anything else. Anyway, he pulled his bike up to the edge of the couch, climbed up on the seat and onto the arm of the couch, then jumped onto the cushions where he fitted in giggles. It looked wonderfully fun but of course, since I'm a mean parent, I had to put an end to it before there were any accidents. So, after a couple of warnings, I sent him to time out.

As soon as he got out of time out, he was right back at it and jumping off the arm of the couch again. So, I sent him to time out again, and moved the tricycle into the other room where he was instructed not to touch it anymore. At that point, he got up and rammed the bike into the wall because he was angry. Oh... yes he did.

So, after another time out, I opened up the front door and chucked the bike outside. I figured that was the end of it and went back into the kitchen to continue slaving away at the dinner I was making for them even though it was doubtful that either of them would eat it.

The next thing I know, Wyatt had gotten Callie's tricycle and was going at it again!

I was beyond livid at this point! So, I threw her tricycle out the front door too and once again sent his little butt to time out! I appreciated his persistence and resourcefulness (it was pretty clever) but that little punk wasn't interested in listening to me at all! What do you do when the time outs aren't working?

(I considered showing him what The Rock was cooking.)

After that, since there were no more tricycles left inside the house, he decided to use the kiddie table instead.

I was fuming! My blood was boiling and my head was about to pop off. I tried counting to ten, but I was so mad that I could only hear a constant stream of profanity inside my head. I initially took him to time out (for the millionth time), but thought the better of it when I realized that I was going to be a twitching and drooling mess by the time Brent got home if I did not get this kid under control and confine him to his room.

So, I grounded him and came downstairs to feed the other half of the dynamic duo. She, of course, immediately declared dinner to be, "YUCKY! GROSS! EWWW!" and I felt my face turn fire-engine red. Thankfully, Brent came home right at that moment so I could run away, lock myself in my bedroom, and hide.

Now, as I'm typing this, Callie is screaming outside of my bedroom door, "HEATHER! HEATHER! DOOR STUCK! STUCK! HEATHER! HEATHER! OPEN IT!!!!"

Excuse me, while I go suck my thumb and cry.

Yep, that's an onion!

"Doctor boo-boo hurt!"

Last week the runts had their 2 year old check-ups. The poor things knew exactly where they were when we got to the doctor's office and also knew they were probably in for some shots. I was on my own with them this time and it was pretty tough comforting two fairly large and terrified babies with my scrawny arms. They were shaking and screaming and couldn't have gotten out of there any quicker. Wyatt kept trying to hand me my purse while he screamed "BYE BYE! HOME! ALL DONE!" They even bypassed the stickers and little toy chest on the way out the door! Here are their stats:

Callie
Height: 35" (79th percentile)
Weight: 27 lbs. 10 oz. (65th percentile)

Wyatt
Height: 34" (40th percentile)
Weight: 25 lbs. 10 oz. (20th percentile)

My monkey dude is still a shrimp. I'm telling you though, this kid already eats like a grown man! I have no idea where he puts it!

Brent was out of town for most of the week, but thankfully, I survived. My mom stayed with me over the weekend so I could sleep instead of worrying about murderers lurking outside my window and angry ghosts hiding in the shadows of my room. I'm pathetic. When Brent is out of town and I am home alone overnight, I literally spend the last hour before I fall asleep planning my fire escape route. I check the locks on all the doors at least a hundred times and make sure all the toys are picked up so I won't trip on them in the middle of the night in the event of an emergency. I'm pretty sure I should be medicated.

Twinkle Toes!

Callie is so cute! This morning, we took her to her first day of ballet class. There were three other little girls there besides Callie and all had been doing it since August. She was pretty nervous at first and asked me to hold her for a little bit. She sat on my lap and listened to the teacher and checked out what the other little girls were doing. When she saw them jumping around and having fun, she hopped up and joined right in. It literally only took her about 2 minutes. I was shocked because I had prepared myself for her to want to sit with me and watch the entire time. I couldn't have been more wrong!

At that point, I snuck out and she did soooo awesome! She caught on really quick and it totally looked like she was in her element! She was grinning from ear to ear and spinning and twirling around. All of the little girls were oozing with cuteness that it was hard hold myself back from shrieking with glee! I couldn't deal with all that light pink preciousness! She's turning into such a big girl!

I was a complete stalker and managed to get one quick picture through a crack in the door...

25 Things About Me - Wyatt

1. I can't stand having my sleeves pushed up! I stop functioning completely.

2. I will NOT eat shirtless!

3. I love my binky and my hippo more than anything in the world.

4. I love making snow angels on the carpet.

5. I do almost anything Callie tells me to do because I love her so much.

6. I say 'thankyouwelcome' whenever I give somebody something.

7. When I spin in circles, I roll my eyes into the side of my head.

8. I have a hollow leg and can usually eat more than my mom.

9. My favorite game is bringing fake food to my mom, watching her "eat" it, and then telling her to ask me, to get her some more. I can play this game for hours.

10. I'm obsessed with pushing buttons.

11. I'm really good at kicking a ball and climbing.

12. Coloring is kind of boring.

13. I only get scared of things if Callie is scared of them first.

14. I like to fake whimper to get more hugs and kisses from my momma and daddy.

15. I am a super messy eater.

16. Bibs suck.

17. I will repeat a word ad nauseam until someone acknowledges that they know what I'm saying. I will not move onto another topic until I'm satisfied with sufficient acknowledgement.

18. I love to help.

19. I like to clean surfaces with unused butt wipes.

20. Please don't take my socks off. I can't deal.

21. I'm really adventurous unless I'm cranky.

22. I have the cutest belly laugh in the entire world!

23. I'm so grumpy when I wake up that my mom usually gives me about 15 minutes to come around. Otherwise, I will cry for a really long time and turn into a pissant for the rest of the afternoon.

24. Every night, I make sure I drink enough bath water to cause me to choke.

25. In my silliest moments, I walk hunched over with bent knees (which makes me look crippled) and try not to make eye contact. I am quite a character!