Lesson Learned

Yesterday, my day started out great. I had a horrible night of sleep because every time Brent is out of town, I think that murderers are lurking outside of my bedroom window and ghosts are haunting me. Pathetically, it's the truth. Also, Callie decided to wake up at 1:00am so that wasn't fun either. Anyway, I was pretty much a pissed off zombie until I got my smile back in the form of a cute fruit bouquet.



He's the best.

We had a full day of running errands and despite being ridiculously exhausted, I actually got them done. I could barely stand up or keep my eyes open until Brent finally got home. I was at the end of giving the kids a bath when he walked through the door. In less than a nanosecond I had stripped down and gotten in the shower because I knew he would take over and I was chomping at the bit to begin my premeditated hours of relaxation.

But it was not to be the case.

About 3 minutes into my shower, after Brent had already dried off the kids, he came frantically running back into the bathroom holding Wyatt and an open bottle of Tylenol PM. The rotten monkey had done the unthinkable and some how busted into the pill bottle! I have no idea how he did it since I'm almost 30 and still can't get those darn things open! Brent was able to pry one out of his mouth but we had no idea if he had swallowed any before that or not. So, after a phone call to his pediatrician and poison control, Brent took him into the Emergency Room. Five hours and a blood test later, he was sent home with no traces of Tylenol in his system whatsoever. Thank goodness it was only a scare, but now all four of us are beyond cranky and starting to sling death threats. Hopefully, we'll get to bed early without incident!

A is for Alky

That's what the twinados are going to turn me into... an alky! There have only been a handful of times that those runts have made me want to pickle my liver and tonight was one of those nights.

Of course, I'm too big of a wuss to do it because Brent is out of town and I can't be hammered if there is an emergency or something and I have to drive somewhere. I am the only one in this house with a valid driver's license right now.

But I'm daydreaming of it nonetheless.

Poor Brent is in for it when he gets home because my ass is going to fester in a hot bath until my hands and feet turn pruney to the verge of disintegration. He'll be playing Mom.

Those two little terrors are going to give us a run for our money when they get to be a little bit older. They are already plotting and scheming against us and they think it's funny. They know that a big rule during bath time is 'no standing in the tub'. I ducked into the closet for a half second to grab a towel for them and when I turned around, they were both standing up in the tub, looking at each other, and giggling because they knew they were being rotten. I will admit that it was pretty precious and gave me old school flashbacks of me and my brother when we were up-to-no-good little munchkins, but it was the beginning of the end for the evening because it preceded a stream of extreme rottenness, trips to time-out, and tears (both theirs and mine).

These little rugrats don't come with manuals.

Be that as it may, I still love those two little skid marks more than life. Stinkers!

Housekeeping

First, I would like to give a HUGE shout out to my "number one reader", Richie, who never leaves me any love but would like a shoutout nonetheless. WHAT'S UP RICHIE!?!?!

Second, this website is one of my daily reads. It's a long story and I come off looking like a huge stalker in it, but I love this girl and her twin boys to death. They were born about a month before Callie and Wyatt. Anyway, she's giving away a free tote bag and if you want a chance to win it, just leave a comment in her blog section: http://theblueangels.blogspot.com/2008/07/cheers-to-2-years-and-sewing-giveaway.html

Third, I thought of another one of those little things that quickly slip away into forgotten memory land when you don't bother to jot it down. Callie likes to feed her daddy and me a pinch of imaginary food and then hear us say "Mmmm!!!!" Then, she'll smile and go back to her imaginary pile of food to grab more imaginary food to feed to us. She can do it for about 20 minutes without tiring and has been playing this game for months. It's pretty ironic that she's not interested in food when it's time to eat, but she's the first to try and take a bite of something inedible, notice food on TV, and pretend about food. These days she's solely living on fruit and pickles. Very health conscious, I know.

Fourth... I just wanted to pretend like I had four things. Which I don't. I just like the number four.

The Intimidator!

Today was great because Brent was working from home and I headed out as soon as the kids went down for their morning nap since I heard there were some great sales out there! And there definately were! I got both kids all their clothes for next summer. I love shopping, but I get giddy when I find really cute stuff for really good deals. It satisfies me to the core.

So, after a satisfying morning of great shopping, we took the kids to a very satisfying lunch where Callie discovered the gloriousness of cheese dip, and then we went to this indoor play place. They had fun running around and tiring themselves out. Brent and I were the only parents there who played with the toys and bounced on all the jumpy things as much as the kids did. Some of the parents gave us the stinky-eye too but whateva... sucks to be them and boring. Also, I'm always amazed by the kids who are completely reckless, out-of-control, and have no manners. I bet some of them are even rabid (and their stinky-eyed parents too).

Here's the best part... Wyatt is a bully! Hahaha! My little scrawny ass, chicken legged, 15 pounded monkey dude is a bully! There were these little plastic car things there and Wyatt was obsessed with them. Anyway, there was this 4 year old that wanted to play with them too but everytime he would get inside one, Wyatt would Bo Duke it and climb in through the window forcing the kid that was already in there to get out! It was great because this kid was at least 3 times bigger than Wyatt. It got to the point where the kid would automatically run away if he saw Wyatt coming towards him. Brent and I were trying not to laugh (publicly), but if this kid wanted to stand up for himself against Wyatt, he honestly could have. My little shrimp is the man!

Let's Talk About Me

Okay, there is this "meme" (whatever that is and however you are supposed to say it) floating around the blog scene and because I just put the kids down for a nap and have a little bit of time, I thought I would play along. It's called, "Let's Talk About Me"... here we go!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Uhh... 29-10=19. Okay. I was in college having the time of my life with a bunch of friends less than 20 steps away at any given time. My friend, Meghan lived right across the hall from me and we was like peas n' carrots. I was very wild at the time and we all partied pretty hard. I was enjoying my new found freedom to the fullest extent and it was fun as hell!

Favorite Snacks
chips and cheese dip
fresh fruit
cherry coke

To Do List
I don't really know what this means, but the only lists I make regularly are ones for groceries. I had to start this when the kids were born because I get so sidetracked hauling those two around. I have a intangible list in my head of "Things to do before I die" like swim with great whites in a shark cage and visit Bora Bora... things like that. Also, I guess I have an imaginary "Things I need to do but will procrastinate until the very last minute" list that has stuff on it like, go to the dentist, paint the laundry room, disinfect the shower... That's the list I hate the most because it nags at me everyday and I still never do it.

Jobs I've Had
Swim Coach - I loved it but the parent's were always nightmares to deal with.
Cookie Decorator - Hahaha! I still say that was one of my faves!
Statistical Analyst - CIBA Vision in Atlanta. I get nauseous thinking about my time there because I was so exposed to the negativity of the corporate world but I was making an incredibly good salary for someone fresh out of college and I had an article or two published in some Ophthalmology magazines. I felt very important there, but I dreaded waking up in the morning.
Paralegal - and I use that term very loosely because I can't remember my actual title but it was doing that kind of crap for a real estate law firm. I hated that job and still kick myself for sticking it out there as long as I did.
Sales Assistant - for a local real estate developer. I have never enjoyed a job more than I enjoyed that one! I worked with some of the nicest people and my boss was someone I was supposed to cross paths with... I still miss everyone there!
SAHM - fulfills me more than anything I ever thought this life could offer. Of course, being elbows deep in poo isn't a perk, but their little faces and their smiles... oh my God! Thank you, God.

Places I've Lived
Richmond, VA
Alpharetta, GA
Greenville, SC
Lilburn, GA
Bluffton, SC

Bad Habits
Worrying too much! I mean, it's pathetic! I should probably be medicated or something because it definitely hinders my daily life. Also, I always leave my clothes in the bathroom sink. It rakes on Brent's nerves so badly but he rarely says anything about it anymore because he's so used to it. I don't know why I can't just put them in the hamper. It's like a permanent brain fart. Oh! And cussing. I'm really trying to quit. I need like a patch or some gum for it.

5 Random Things People May Not Know
1.) Umm... I entered college with the intent of becoming a Marine Biologist. It combined the two things I loved most in this world. Water and Animals. My advisor kind of talked me out of it by telling me I would have to go to grad school and then hopefully beat out thousands of other candidates for a chance at making minimum wage. Sometimes I'm sad that I didn't follow my dream, but I probably wouldn't have met Brent so I get over it pretty quickly.

2.) I love to draw and paint. I was also an Art major in college and was a few classes shy of getting that degree too but what was I going to do with an Art degree? For me, it was purely for fun and I really loved being in the Art building and working on lots different pieces and stuff. I miss doing that.

3.) When Brent and I get old, we want to have enough property to be able to start an animal rescue or something like that. There are so many abused animals in this world and people just don't recognize that animals are simply little angels among us. My heart breaks for those little guys that are suffering out there.

4.) I love that movie Superbad! It's one of my faves! Boop.

5.) My hair is really long right now because I've always wanted long curly hair and I'm thinking about perming it... but perming it is very 80s and even though I've wanted to do this since Elementary school, I don't know if it's okay to look like an idiot just because I never got to live out my DJ Tannerish dream. So, I'm torn and in the mean time, my hair is getting longer and longer.

CDs I would want if stranded on an island
Matchbox 20 (Yourself or someone like you)
Monster Ballads
Probably one of the NOW CDs so I could shake my boo-tay.

What I'd do if I were a billionaire
Beach house with big ass boat
Trust Funds for my runts
TRAVEL
Charities
Chef/Maids/Massuse

Bla-dow!

Water Festival

3 Tids and Bits

First, I just ordered two huge packs of diapers from Diapers.com and not only are they delivered to my house for free (in 2 days), but I saved $10.00 (on purchase of $50.00 or more) with the coupon code STINKYBUTT and got a year free subscription to parenting magazine. Plus, there was no tax. We usually buy diapers from Sam's Club and even though the diapers at Sam's are a few bucks cheaper, this still ended up saving us about $10.00 + gas. It made me happy so I thought I'd share the good word.

Second, I just made the BEST blueberry muffins I have ever eaten before in my life! The four of us just destroyed all of them while they were still hot so I never even got to take a picture. I found the recipe and kind of tweaked it around to make a lazy version of it because I didn't want to take the time to make some muffin crumb top and I wanted to make something else with these blueberries other than pie and pancakes. I can't believe how easy they were! Be careful! These things are addictive! With a huge glass of milk too?... Awww Sookie Sookie!!!!

Cinnamon Sugar Blueberry Muffins

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 egg
1/3 cup milk
1 cup fresh blueberries

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease muffin cups or line with muffin liners. Combine flour, sugar, salt and baking powder. Mix in vegetable oil, egg and milk. (My batter was a little dry at this point so I added milk to thin it out. You want it to be like thick pancake batter.) Fold in blueberries. Fill muffin cups right to the top, and generously sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar.

For mini muffins bake 10-15 minutes in preheated oven or until done. For regular sized muffins bake 20-25 minutes.
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Last but definitely not least, I have another awesomely good self-concocted recipe with blueberries in it. It's a fruited curry chicken salad and it will make you tear up with taste bud glee! If you are curry monsters like we all are, you have to try this! It's so good that Brent and I both ate it straight out of the bowl! Fab. U. Lus.

Fruited Curry Chicken Salad

1-2 cooked and shredded chicken breasts
1/4 small onion, finely chopped (more or less to your taste)
1/2 cup chopped cashews
1 tsp. black pepper
1 tsp. curry powder
1/2 cup mayonnaise (more or less to your taste)
1 cup fresh blueberries

In a large bowl, combine chicken, onion, cashews, pepper, curry, and mayonnaise. Toss to coat. Gently fold in fresh blueberries. Chill.

All about Wyatt!

My dude is the sweetest and craziest kid in one. He loves to cuddle and drool on your shoulder. He hates waking up just like me and needs to be held awhile before he is ready to get down and play. He is still passing out sloppy kisses that are mostly tongue and he knows no strangers.

Some old lady told me the other day that he is a huge flirt and I don't think she could have been more correct. I still can't get over him befriending this little Asian chick working the register at this restaurant a couple weeks ago. He said hi to her and when she knelt down to talk to him, he grabbed her neck and planted his little cheek right there on her shoulder. I was totally weirded out but the lady was eating him up so... whatever. He tried to do the same thing to a woman trimming the hedges at the zoo.

My monkey is totally crazy and sometimes rough. He's the type that will try to give you a kiss and will accidentally headbutt you in the process. He's just like his daddy! Also, when I tell you that the kid is off his rocker - I'm not joking. He will bang his head into the wall just to hear the loud echo of it in the foyer. He "mows" the carpet with his head and gets the biggest kick out of watching you balance something on your head and then accidentally letting in fall off! He's got the cutest belly laugh in the world and is very ticklish!

He loves Callie to pieces. He follows her lead, copies her words, feeds her snacks, and will full on tackle her when she has a toy he wants (because it's obviously very cool if she is playing with it). He loves all animals (but birdies and kitties the most) and "talking" on the phone.

Oh! I can't forget to tell you about his trademark signature move! When he cries, he turns blue. I'm not kidding. He stops breathing to the point where he almost passes out. I've had people stop me in stores because they were so worried he wasn't going to breathe again. It's scary. It happens almost every time he cries and it will make your heart stop if you see it.

My precious boy. My little man.

Also, the way he says the word "off" makes me want to eat him!

Potty Time!

My baby girl had a big milestone day yesterday! She strung words, "Hi Daddy!" and "I love you!" and she told me that she had to poop before she went! Of course, when I put her on the big potty, she freaked out because she is terrified of the toilet. So, I took her down and she pooped in her diaper and came over to tell me that the deed was done. I have to order a little potty today for that child! We've been watching the "Elmo goes Potty" DVD and apparently, if Elmo takes a dump on the loo, then so will she! Elmo is my hero. However, I am not looking forward to visiting public restrooms while we are out and about. I'm phobic of those corroded germ pits! So gross!

Anyway, I realize that because girlfriend is hitting all these milestones one step ahead of my monkey, I seem to blog more about her than I do about him. It's not fair so my next post is going to be all about my sweet boy!

Blueberry Farm!

This morning we went blueberry picking! It was really fun and the kids had a blast! At first, I was a little worried that they might have trouble picking them because the berries are so small, but they quickly proved me wrong. It was overcast too which was nice but it even still got hot after we had been there awhile. The kids ate blueberries by the handful out of our picking buckets so it took us a really long time to fill them up. In the end we came home with about a pound of blueberries and I dove into making a pie as soon as we got home. It looked too good to wait until dinner so Brent and I already got into it. It's just as good as the strawberry pie I made in the spring but definitely not as healthy!

Blueberry Pie

2/3 cups water
1/2 cup sugar
1 tbsp. cornstarch
1/2 (3 oz.) packet grape jello mix
1/2 (20 oz.) can crushed pineapple, drained
2 and 1/2 cups fresh blueberries

4 oz. cream cheese
4 oz. sour cream
1 tsp. vanilla
1/4 cup sugar
1 (9 inch) graham cracker crust

Cream together cream cheese, sugar, sour cream, and vanilla. Spread into pie crust. Chill.

In a saucepan, combine water, sugar, and cornstarch. Cook and stir over medium high heat until mixture boils and thickens. Remove from heat and stir in gelatin mix. Allow to cool slightly. Stir in pineapple and blueberries. Pour over cream cheese mixture and chill until firm.

Here's a cute little video of the kids picking blueberries this morning. It took a long time for us to pick a lot of blueberries because they are so small. Even after the tots were too tired to keep walking, they were still determined to pick-n-eat! My rolly munchkins.

Undiscovered Load

Ummm, hi. My kid just shoved her hand down the back of her diaper into a mud pie massacre. As if that wasn't enough, she took a whiff of her fingers and started to whimper.

It reminded me of this video... only not so much a monkey but my own kid instead. (By the way, it's called "Monkey Smells Finger" and that should be fair enough warning!) It's the funniest video ever but I never thought I'd witness something like that in real life.

These are NOT the perks of my job. Definitely not.

Elwo! Elwo! Elwo!

Dags, Boons, and Elwo.

Just so you all can feel my pain, this is what it's like riding in the car with Callie right now:

Elwo! Elwo! Elwo! Elwo! Elwo! DAG! Elwo...

Then, multiply the above 5 million times in a span of 5 minutes. (Elwo=Elmo and Dag=Flag.)

You can imagine how thrilled girlfriend was on the 4th of July! It was like the day was created just for her! Dags (flags) and boons (balloons) everywhere! It was so fun for the kids! They loved seeing all the flags and all the little kids at the parade we went to in the morning. We had some friends over for dinky fireworks at night thinking that the kids would enjoy the small little ones, but we weren't that lucky. They were completely terrified so we ended up putting them to bed after only a couple of minutes. Hopefully, they will be less scared next year.

We went to the pool on Sunday with Dan, Catherine, and Emma. The kids had a blast and they were totally fearless about charging into the water and weren't phased even after slipping a couple times and going completely underwater. I'm thinking about just getting those bathing suits with the intertube built into them even though I think they look pretty dorky.

Turn it up, Monkey dude!

Happy 4th of July!

Uncle Binky is the best!!!!

I had a really busy weekend. On Friday, I drove up to Tennessee to surprise my friends Laura and Yolanda. Yolanda is in the Army and stationed in Germany so I never get to see the girl. In fact, the last time I saw her I was a beastly pregnant whale. It was a horribly long drive up there and I'm not a good car rider anyway. I can tolerate 1-2 hours in the car at max so 6 hours is a really big stretch for me. It was fun surprising them and I really enjoyed just hanging out and being able to spend some time with Yola.

Anyway, in the morning, I called Brent to check on the kids and Callie was sick. I was 6 hours away from the kid and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I immediately got in the car and drove home. I just couldn't handle it. I know that Brent is such a good dad and would have been fine handling her by himself, but I know that I would have been miserable all day just thinking about her and not being able to hold her. It's so weird how everything changes as soon as you are a parent. Nothing else matters except for my babies. Nothing.

Sunday we stayed close to home because both kids had fevers at that point and I was dead tired. It rained too which was nice and comfy even though I did have to slip out to get some groceries. I wallowed in my family that whole day. I could never put into words how happy and lucky the three of them make me feel.

Plus, Tony. And Gracie. And Kitty and Lacey. Even the dumb fish.

So far, today has been great! Uncle Binky sent the kiddos a surprise and the whole morning was full of excitement about their new toys. Also, Callie told me she pooped! I was pretty excited about the 4 wheelers and all, but hearing your kid tell you that they went "poo poo" while pointing at their crotch is like the gloriousness of an organ playing inside a beautiful Roman Cathedral whilst doves chirp in harmony! I think I need to go buy a potty. I know she's getting closer! Peace out, diapers!

(**I know the kids look crazy in all these pictures but we had multiple accidents involving pee pee, ashes, and cherry juice. I quit caring who's clothes they were wearing and whether or not they matched. Too bad Callie is wearing Wyatt's shirt and vice versa.**)