Fun Day

Yesterday, I went to Charleston to hang out with one of my friends for the day. The weather was gorgeous in the afternoon and it was nice enough for us to eat lunch and have a couple of drinks on the porch of this really cute restaurant on the water. We saw the USS Yorktown from across the Cooper River and decided to go over there and take a tour to see it up close. I wish I cared more about history because it seemed pretty cool, but I'm sure that most of it went unappreciated by me as we walked through it. We toured a submarine, a battleship, and the air craft carrier.

This was pretty cool because it reminded me of the classroom in Top Gun. I can't believe all those dudes are horribly middle-aged now. Have you all seen Val Kilmer recently? Sick!

All that's missing from this picture is Tom Cruise in his tighty whiteys and dogtags.

I almost feel like I hit the lotto!

I guess poop has been a consistent theme for me this week...

Callie has had such a big week because she pooped on the potty 3 times since Friday and I am so grateful! It's a start in the right direction, and if I can at least get one of them trained, that's half the butts I have to wipe and that is awesome!

I feel bad, because the following details will probably be horribly embarrassing to her later on in life and might not be appreciated until she is a momma herself, but it's so cute that I want to be able to remember it later! (I'm fully aware she's going to want to kill me when she knows I spewed her potty training particulars to the internet!) But seeing poop go to it's proper home gets me giddy!

On Friday, she wanted to sit on the potty and because I had to clean the bathroom anyway, I let her color while she was sitting. After about 20 minutes, she had her first true pooping victory! We cheered (though not too much since I scared her last time because I went too psycho on her) and you could tell she was really proud of herself.

Later that night, my mom came over to babysit while Brent and I went to dinner and Wyatt peed on the potty for her too! I'm hoping that they are encouraging each other to potty train faster since it's really hard for one of the twins to get rewarded with M&Ms and the less victorious one of them only gets to watch and salivate.

Then, Callie had another victory on Monday and after she was done, she stood up and declared that her poop looked like a bear! I died laughing! She was really proud of herself again and insisted that we call daddy to tell him, and my parents too.

Yesterday, after her nap, she told me that the bear was coming so we sat her down and she was victorious again! Hahaha! She was saying, "Hereditcome bear!" ('Here it comes, bear') and the bear did infact come.

Granted they both want to sit on the potty about a million times a day and we are burning through diapers like no tomorrow because of it, BUT this is awesome. It's exhausting trying to be so patient with them because most times, nothing happens. They want to sit there forever too.

It's pathetic the things we get excited about at this crusty old age!

Poocasso

This morning when I woke up and headed upstairs, I was slapped across the face by the smell of rancid inky. I immediately tensed up and started to pray that I wasn't going to find Wyatt bathing in his own feces and drawing masterpieces of art with his dung.

I should have prayed harder.

First, I went to get Callie and she started asking for Wyatt who was definitely being much too quiet for that time in the morning. So I grabbed her hand and we walked into Wyatt's room together.

The green fog was thick as hell and I braced myself as I peered into Wyatt's crib. At about the same time, Callie started saying, "SMELL! SMELL! EWWWW!". Dude had one hand down his pants (digging for the goods) and was using his other hand to graffiti all over his pillow with caca.

Tears came to my eyes. Both from the gut-wrenching stink and the feeling of pure defeat. I was going to have to clean this up. I was also trying not to yack since I have such a weak stomach from puking everyday for 29 weeks when I was pregnant with them. AND I definitely don't do poop. I wanted to die.

I threw that little punk in the tub with almost an entire bottle of baby soap. I let him fester in that for a good half hour before I was willing to attack him with a washcloth. So gross. I finally got him cleaned up and then had to go disinfect the hell out of his room. Narsty.

Please believe that I had just written something incredibly sentimental about the kid last night before I went to bed but waited to post it after I had time to check my spelling. I love how they find a quick way to balance out the good with the bad before one side gets too heavy. It happens every time!

I will post the sentimental ode when my nose hairs grow back.

If you're REALLY bored...

I'm tired. This has been a weird week. Wyatt had a touch of something on Tuesday and Callie and I had it yesterday. The three of us already had our flu shots (thank goodness) and I think that we might have been exposed to it. Instead of getting the full blown flu, we just had extreme tiredness and were kind of achy. Wyatt even asked to take a nap a little bit after breakfast, so you KNOW that kid wasn't feeling himself!

Callie wasn't interested in ballet at all yesterday. Brent took her since I wasn't feeling well and he said that she threw a fit as soon as they walked in the joint. Callie immediately started crying and screaming, "HOME! HOME! HOME!" Her feet never touched the floor. Granted she wasn't feeling well, but I'm nervous this might be the start of not wanting to go to ballet class. We'll see...

Anyway, I saw this yesterday and thought it was kind of cute...

25 Things About Me - Callie

1. I'm a fashionista and ask to see a mirror after I put on a new outfit or have my hair done.

2. I love to read. It's one of my favorite things to do.

3. I eat like a bird and I'm very picky.

4. My favorite color is pink.

5. I would color all day long if someone would let me.

6. I love to dance. If there is music playing, you can bet I'm trying to hum along and dance.

7. I requested an airplane ride for my 2nd birthday.

8. I drink more liquids than a camel. I would rather drink my hunger away than bother with eating.

9. My favorite food is cheese.

10. When I'm happy, I do a miniature gallop and walk on my tippy toes.

11. Every morning when I wake up, I have to talk to daddy about my little baby dress that's on the wall. ("Cahggie, dress, girl, wof (flower), cucke (cute).")

12. I smile with an under bite sometimes when I'm being rotten.

13. I will steel Wyatt's juice and snacks every chance I get.

14. I love the moon and the stars and look for them almost every time we get in the car or go outside.

15. I provoke Wyatt to get mad and chase me by either steeling his binky, or a toy he's playing with.

16. I make sure that mommy and daddy know to in include Wyatt in everything.

17. I am super cautious about all new things and also get scared pretty easily.

18. I am the more dominant twin but I always worry about Wyatt when I'm not around him.

19. I say "Hodee, hodee, hodee..." when i want someone to hold me.

20. I love watching momma play with "Eye" (makeup) and always want her to put "keem" on my boo boos.

21. I sleep with 4 things: My bunny foofoo, Elmo, Roar (a white tiger beanie baby) and a light blue binky.

22. I don't use a binky, I just like to chew on it like a busted ol' cigar.

23. I ask about my Oma almost everyday and also know the way to her house.

24. I loathe having my fingernails and toenails cut!

25. I classify everything as being either cute or yucky.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Yesterday was so cute! I had the three best valentines ever (four if you count Tonizzle)! The two short ones got little baskets from their momma and daddy that were full of big kid underwear! They are definitely not ready to wear them yet, but I'm trying to motivate them a little bit. They got some other stuff too like playdoh and coloring books and stuff and Callie was totally appreciative of the "PINK LIGHTS, PRETTY! CUTE!". We also had heart shaped eggs and waffles for breakfast.

She was only interested in wearing Wyatt's Lightening McQueen socks and underwear!

They also got a box of legos from my parents and spent most of the morning shoving legos in their mouths and regurgitating them into my lap. We tied their balloons to their sippy cups which also provided hours of monkey-balloon tackling fun. The balloons were, by far, the favorites of the day. Shockingly enough, neither one of them popped despite being loved on, jumped on, and bitten.

Brent got me a bunch of really pretty tulips and made crab legs and shrimp for dinner. We had a really nice day and I hope that everyone else enjoyed their Valentine's day as much as we did!

Here's a quick little video I took yesterday. They do this all the time... Callie will yell, "Wy Wy! Rosey!" and then they both run together and hold hands and do this little jig. I was lucky enough to have my camera handy this time. The funny part is that I never taught them this!!!! (I'm assuming the culprit is either grandma or Sesame Street.)

Aww... his first grounding!

I grounded Wyatt this afternoon. It had to be done so that I wouldn't beat him down. It was only a 20 minute grounding but I banned that kid to his crib!

The kids have tricycles. They can't pedal yet so these trikes are more like mobile jungle-gyms than anything else. Anyway, he pulled his bike up to the edge of the couch, climbed up on the seat and onto the arm of the couch, then jumped onto the cushions where he fitted in giggles. It looked wonderfully fun but of course, since I'm a mean parent, I had to put an end to it before there were any accidents. So, after a couple of warnings, I sent him to time out.

As soon as he got out of time out, he was right back at it and jumping off the arm of the couch again. So, I sent him to time out again, and moved the tricycle into the other room where he was instructed not to touch it anymore. At that point, he got up and rammed the bike into the wall because he was angry. Oh... yes he did.

So, after another time out, I opened up the front door and chucked the bike outside. I figured that was the end of it and went back into the kitchen to continue slaving away at the dinner I was making for them even though it was doubtful that either of them would eat it.

The next thing I know, Wyatt had gotten Callie's tricycle and was going at it again!

I was beyond livid at this point! So, I threw her tricycle out the front door too and once again sent his little butt to time out! I appreciated his persistence and resourcefulness (it was pretty clever) but that little punk wasn't interested in listening to me at all! What do you do when the time outs aren't working?

(I considered showing him what The Rock was cooking.)

After that, since there were no more tricycles left inside the house, he decided to use the kiddie table instead.

I was fuming! My blood was boiling and my head was about to pop off. I tried counting to ten, but I was so mad that I could only hear a constant stream of profanity inside my head. I initially took him to time out (for the millionth time), but thought the better of it when I realized that I was going to be a twitching and drooling mess by the time Brent got home if I did not get this kid under control and confine him to his room.

So, I grounded him and came downstairs to feed the other half of the dynamic duo. She, of course, immediately declared dinner to be, "YUCKY! GROSS! EWWW!" and I felt my face turn fire-engine red. Thankfully, Brent came home right at that moment so I could run away, lock myself in my bedroom, and hide.

Now, as I'm typing this, Callie is screaming outside of my bedroom door, "HEATHER! HEATHER! DOOR STUCK! STUCK! HEATHER! HEATHER! OPEN IT!!!!"

Excuse me, while I go suck my thumb and cry.

Yep, that's an onion!

"Doctor boo-boo hurt!"

Last week the runts had their 2 year old check-ups. The poor things knew exactly where they were when we got to the doctor's office and also knew they were probably in for some shots. I was on my own with them this time and it was pretty tough comforting two fairly large and terrified babies with my scrawny arms. They were shaking and screaming and couldn't have gotten out of there any quicker. Wyatt kept trying to hand me my purse while he screamed "BYE BYE! HOME! ALL DONE!" They even bypassed the stickers and little toy chest on the way out the door! Here are their stats:

Callie
Height: 35" (79th percentile)
Weight: 27 lbs. 10 oz. (65th percentile)

Wyatt
Height: 34" (40th percentile)
Weight: 25 lbs. 10 oz. (20th percentile)

My monkey dude is still a shrimp. I'm telling you though, this kid already eats like a grown man! I have no idea where he puts it!

Brent was out of town for most of the week, but thankfully, I survived. My mom stayed with me over the weekend so I could sleep instead of worrying about murderers lurking outside my window and angry ghosts hiding in the shadows of my room. I'm pathetic. When Brent is out of town and I am home alone overnight, I literally spend the last hour before I fall asleep planning my fire escape route. I check the locks on all the doors at least a hundred times and make sure all the toys are picked up so I won't trip on them in the middle of the night in the event of an emergency. I'm pretty sure I should be medicated.

Twinkle Toes!

Callie is so cute! This morning, we took her to her first day of ballet class. There were three other little girls there besides Callie and all had been doing it since August. She was pretty nervous at first and asked me to hold her for a little bit. She sat on my lap and listened to the teacher and checked out what the other little girls were doing. When she saw them jumping around and having fun, she hopped up and joined right in. It literally only took her about 2 minutes. I was shocked because I had prepared myself for her to want to sit with me and watch the entire time. I couldn't have been more wrong!

At that point, I snuck out and she did soooo awesome! She caught on really quick and it totally looked like she was in her element! She was grinning from ear to ear and spinning and twirling around. All of the little girls were oozing with cuteness that it was hard hold myself back from shrieking with glee! I couldn't deal with all that light pink preciousness! She's turning into such a big girl!

I was a complete stalker and managed to get one quick picture through a crack in the door...

25 Things About Me - Wyatt

1. I can't stand having my sleeves pushed up! I stop functioning completely.

2. I will NOT eat shirtless!

3. I love my binky and my hippo more than anything in the world.

4. I love making snow angels on the carpet.

5. I do almost anything Callie tells me to do because I love her so much.

6. I say 'thankyouwelcome' whenever I give somebody something.

7. When I spin in circles, I roll my eyes into the side of my head.

8. I have a hollow leg and can usually eat more than my mom.

9. My favorite game is bringing fake food to my mom, watching her "eat" it, and then telling her to ask me, to get her some more. I can play this game for hours.

10. I'm obsessed with pushing buttons.

11. I'm really good at kicking a ball and climbing.

12. Coloring is kind of boring.

13. I only get scared of things if Callie is scared of them first.

14. I like to fake whimper to get more hugs and kisses from my momma and daddy.

15. I am a super messy eater.

16. Bibs suck.

17. I will repeat a word ad nauseam until someone acknowledges that they know what I'm saying. I will not move onto another topic until I'm satisfied with sufficient acknowledgement.

18. I love to help.

19. I like to clean surfaces with unused butt wipes.

20. Please don't take my socks off. I can't deal.

21. I'm really adventurous unless I'm cranky.

22. I have the cutest belly laugh in the entire world!

23. I'm so grumpy when I wake up that my mom usually gives me about 15 minutes to come around. Otherwise, I will cry for a really long time and turn into a pissant for the rest of the afternoon.

24. Every night, I make sure I drink enough bath water to cause me to choke.

25. In my silliest moments, I walk hunched over with bent knees (which makes me look crippled) and try not to make eye contact. I am quite a character!

Happy 2nd Birthday Cog & Poodie!

This morning the kids were still recovering from the trip to the aquarium and were a little overwhelmed and cranky from the moment they woke up. Neither of them were interested in opening up their presents once they saw Wyatt's train. There was also a full on battle over the Lightening McQueen blanket.

We took them to Island Spishyak* even though they really weren't too anxious to leave the house. Once they were there though, they had a blast and ran around until they were rosey cheeked and out of breath. I was so impressed with Wyatt when he repeatedly climbed the two-story inflatable all by himself. He was a bit of a bottleneck when there were a bunch of big kids around, but he was a tough little man and was pretty much determined to keep up with them. He's such a little bruiser. I was so proud!

We came home and Wyatt crashed. Callie had plans of her own though. One day before her first birthday, she learned to walk. One hour before her second birthday, she climbed out of her crib.

We are so screwed.

Girlfriend also refused to take a nap today and when we didn't listen to her, she would heave her body over the side of the crib and get out. I guess we'll have to face that issue tomorrow. I'm not prepared for her to have a big girl bed yet! I didn't think this day would come so soon! (What's new, right?!)

This afternoon my mom and dad came over for pizza and cake. The kids were such pills by then that they wouldn't even blow out their candles so Brent and I did it for them. Tomorrow, I doubt we will even get out of our pjs!

By the way, how cute is this?! (Miss Frances Grant Feat. Bizzle!)...



*Spishyak - noun. Public-community-kiddie-viral-ridden-grime that when touched, results in immediate sickness.

Happy Birthday Eve!

Today we went to the South Carolina Aquarium in Charleston and just wallowed in spending some time with our babies. We happened to drive by the children's wing of MUSC and it was overwhelmingly nostalgic to be there almost exactly two years later, knowing now that everything worked out okay. I couldn't ask for a more perfect, healthy, and happy little boy. He sure gave us a scare!



The kids were great and really enjoyed the fish. Some of the exhibits were dark which really frightened Callie, but as long as I held her in the creepy darkness, she was good to go. They were also even willing to touch some stingrays and sea urchins. Afterwards, we took them to a restaurant on the water so they could watch the boats while we ate. They really behaved perfectly. Both babes crashed hard as soon as we started to drive home. It was our last day with our one year olds and I couldn't be more choked up about it. They have blessed every single cell in my body with divine love and happiness and I'm so lucky to be their mom!

Happy Birthday my beautiful, beautiful babies!

T-minus 2 days!

My babies are almost 2! It's my last few days of being a mommy to a pair of one year olds and it's been awfully traumatic to say the least! I can't believe how fast it has gone and while I'm enjoying every minute of seeing them grow up into their own people, I miss my teeny tinys so much too! They got their first birthday presents in the mail yesterday and they were so excited! They are some precious and greedy little present-opening fools!

On the flip side of losing my babies, I figure if they have to turn two then we might as well embrace it and push them to dump the diapers. I'm over it. They are over it. Callie tells me everyday that she's done with them and wants to take them off. However, she still turns her nose up at the potty. I've tried bribing with candy and toys, and even forfeited my own privacy hoping that the whole 'monkey see, monkey do' thing would come true. But, miss thang stands strong and will not budge on the issue!

Too bad it's not the summer or she'd be going through potty-training boot camp in the backyard in some big girl underwear. You can bet that's what we'll be doing as soon as it warms up. I know she can do it but I can't deal with the idea of pee on my couches or carpets right now. I'm not that desperate... yet.

My monkey dude on the other hand, has had several recent victories! He's much easier to bribe and also more than willing to sit on the potty for quite awhile as long as I keep him occupied with letting him inspect every pill bottle and bandaid box in the medicine cabinet. We are still rewarding their successes with Chick-Fil-A mints and I really think he is starting to warm up to the whole potty training idea. He might actually cross the finish line first! That would be awesome!

My sweet babies watching a movie together this morning. Callie is also very insistent that one bow in her hair just isn't enough these days! It's all about the accessories!

I love how you can actually see how long her hair is in this picture. By the time it's finally a cute length, her hair is going to be down to her butt when it's wet!

Helping daddy eat his breakfast this morning.

Random pics

Playing in a "boat".


Wyatt playing peek-a-boo.

Callie asked me to take her picture with her bunny, Foo Foo...

...so Wyatt had to do the same with his Hippo.

Callie coloring different pictures of on my grocery list. She wore her jacket almost all day because she thinks it's "cucke" (cute).

Snow Day!

When you live at the beach, the summers are great and I wouldn't trade it for the world. However, the winters aren't as fun. It's way too cold to go to the beach, and way to warm for it to ever snow. I miss the snow. It's been way too long since I've seen real snow and I have been itching for the kids to be able to enjoy it also.

But, we got lucky because they had a snow day on the island today and even though it was artificial, it was great to be able to see how happy the kids were to play in it. They were both so scared at first because the snow machines were pretty loud. Wyatt quickly warmed up to playing in it and Callie was much more reserved and had to watch for a long time before she was ready to venture away from us. They had fun blow up stuff too that Wyatt absolutely loved and Callie refused.

They enjoyed playing in the snow so much that we ended up standing in line a couple times so they could play in it longer. It was more like a big slushy than snow, but it was very cool anyway. Here are a ton of pictures from their fun:

So, THAT'S the difference!

Earlier in the week, I got an email from a friend of mine asking if the kids have figured out the difference between boys and girls. I laughed, told her 'no, not my kids... not yet', and sighed relief as I laughed about her struggles with the issue.

Of course, as quick as it came out of my mouth, the kids proved me wrong. Wyatt has always known about his extra appendage. Even in the womb. He also likes to make sure it's still attached whenever he is sans diaper. But during bath time last night, Callie looked at Wyatt's crotch intently for the first time and declared that Wyatt had gotten a "boo boo". Brent and I looked at each other nervously for a second and kind of shrugged it off hoping they would move onto another topic.

However, they weren't interested in moving onto another topic.

Instead, Wyatt's "boo boo" quickly became a source of hilarious entertainment for the two of them at which point we had to jump in and teach them what it was really called, that it was for going pee pee on the potty, and to keep their hands to themselves.

(Insert my nervous, whimpery laugh here.)

Wow. Gag me. Not looking forward to the sex talk. Not. At. All.

Just to make you smile...

I couldn't help but smile when I saw this little baby lemur orphan is clinging to his stuffed adoptive momma. I want him. He melts me into a little puddle with all his freaking cuteness! Oh my goodness!

Silly twinks!

Just a few pics...

Giving the dogs hugs and kisses through the window.

Flowers from the kids. So cute!

Luuk at da litta buddy.

A fun visit with Ape!

Dinglicious.

Wyatt ate a dingleberry this morning! I guess the kitty left it behind in the family room and he mistook it for a raisin or something. Hahaha!!!! Unfortunately, I didn't get to see any of it happen because I was in the shower, but Brent busted into the bathroom and brushed the living crap out of Wyatt's teeth as he was telling me about it. The kid tried to eat it, but apparently didn't like the flavor too much and starting gagging hard enough to almost puke.

This weekend was stressful because it felt like the break of the holidays is officially over and the weight of all the job/house stuff creeped right back up onto my shoulders. My mom was nice enough to take care of the kids Sunday so we could get some things done, but I had such a horrible migraine that the best I could do was over-medicate myself and nibble on dry toast. Boo. I did manage to get some really cute curtains hung in our bedroom though.

Callie had a tough time this weekend too. She's normally the baby that I love to take shopping with me because she's just happy and never cries or complains. But we ended up having to leave two different stores on two different occasions because she wanted to, "GO HOME! GO HOME! GO HOME!" The kid was literally screaming at the top of her lungs and I was so embarrassed that I could feel my heartbeat pulsing in my face. I was beet red and the nasty stares people were giving me just made me feel worse. By the way, the little diva is calling me, "HEATHER!" now. It's lovely.

Okay, I need to post a recipe. It's been on my to do list so I can use it again next year. Out of all the cooking I did over the holidays, there was only one that was worth making again. It was really a copycat recipe for Boston Market's creamed spinach that I used for collard greens instead on new years. It will definitely be our traditional collard green recipe from now on. It's super fatty but totally worth it.

Boston Market Creamed Spinach (or Collard Greens)
2 tbsp. butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour (a tad less)
1 cup half and half cream (or milk)
4 oz. cream cheese
2 tbsp. minced onion
1 tbsp. minced garlic
2 (10 oz.) boxes frozen chopped spinach - thawed
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
salt to taste

Directions:
In a saucepan over medium-low heat, melt butter. Saute garlic and onions until clear. Stir flour and into pan until creamed together making a roux. Slowly stir in cream, then stir in cream cheese; increase heat to medium. Constantly whisk until mixture becomes thick and smooth. Add remaining ingredients (including the water) and reduce heat to low and stir until completely blended. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, for 8 minutes or until Parmesan is fully melted.

Just a cute video of my Monktey.

My two favorites

One of my favorite moments of the entire day is when I give Wyatt a hug and whisper this funky little sound in his ear. The sound is difficult to describe, but it kind of sounds like a very quiet continuous pig snort. Haha! Sick. I don't know how it started or why, but we've been doing it for months and every time I start doing it, he pulls his face away from me and smiles SO big. Then, he leans in again and positions his ear perfectly with my nose and mouth to get me to do it some more. He's so gentle and sweet in those moments that I probably end up hugging him longer than he wants me to.

One of my favorite things about Callie right now is the way she tries to communicate with me. She knows so many words but it's really more like a dialect of English than textbook English. I'm pretty on top of it, but sometimes I get confused about her words or I will forget what certain words mean. Anyway, whenever she is trying to tell me something and I don't completely understand her, she will start acting it out like Pictionary to help me understand her better. She helps me by making hand gestures and motions when I'm stuck trying to understand her. It's so adorable and she is always very calm and patient with me. She continually overwhelms me with her inner beauty.

(Just now, as i looked down at the kids, they were giving each other a hug. My babies.)